Snow fun!

Ahhh, back up into the positive farenheit digits!! The feeling in the air was so great. At one point today, my car read 50 degrees - well, actually 49, but who cares! What an awesome way to end the month after such a crappy January!

We gave a call to Grandma Dar and Grandpa Bob this morning to see what they were up to. They said that they were expecting some other family members to stop by for a visit and they would love to have us. So the girls and I packed up and headed over.

Em and Madz had a great time playing with their cousins. They just love going over to grandma and grandpa's house to play and visit. When we left Emma asked when we are going over again to play. It was twice as nice that they were able to spend time with both of their Aunts as well! We all enjoyed lunch together and had a great time.

The girls and I gathered up our things right after lunch and head home. Emma has been so looking forward to getting "good snow" so that we could make a snowman. Today was our day!!

It was funny trying to watch Madeline try to navigate her way around the yard. Emma was just concerned about the finishing touches on the snowman. We made up some stories about what our snowman will do at night. Because, you know, at night the snowmen of the neighborhood got together for snow games. Madeline and I had to finish up the fort/house for the snowman because Emma was in distress about the snow that had gone down her back. Gosh, the fresh air was great and the sunshine was invigorating! No one really fought me on nap time and soon everyone was in dream land.

Because of the nice weather, Jay didn't get home from work until about 6:30. It was a long day in the world of car washes! And he is anticipating another long one tomorrow - hopefully not to long so he can come to the SuperBowl Party!!

After dinner and baths, Jay and the girls gathered around the table to bear witness to my second Rebif injection. I left Emma choose where I would do it. She chose my arm. So there it went. Just as smoothly as the one in the doctors office. Hoping that the side effects will have the same result - nothing.

Before bed I asked Emma what she thought about watching me do the shot. She said, "it was good". I said, "do you have any questions about the shots?" and she said "no" and just went on playing with her paperdolls.

Everyone is tucked in, Jay is still on the phone with a co-worker discussing work (I swear these guys talk more then any other employees that I have ever known) and I am determined to get to bed before midnight.

Significant improvement

A much less complicated day then yesterday.

Awoke this morning with not much on my mind since I am, thankfully, feeling about 99% - the missing 1% is because of some sleep that is missing due to a 3 1/2 year old who "needed a hug" at 5:15am and "needing a kiss" at 6:16am - we were able to plan the day however we want.

I decided that we needed to attempt to do some investigative work into a new fridge - where are the good deals, a good model, any group discounts for matching other appliances. Since Jay is working this weekend we will not have the time to get that stuff done. There is a necessity to have a properly working fridge now that my shots are kept in there. We cannot afford the $3200 monthly cost of my drug that Pfizer charges. Wasting them is not an option. So with our food in mind and drugs to keep safely cool a new fridge is necessary.

We plowed through Appliancesmart, finding some good deal and not leaving much damage in our wake. On to Sears, some different models there. Stopped at the food court for lunch and on to the germ pit to refill on our bacteria levels and do a little playing. I sat next to a gal that I later found out I used to coach in gymnastics. I didn't recognize her. Beautiful gal who looks EXACTLY like Angelina Jolie except her lips are far smaller. She has 3 girls so we exchanged numbers. On to home for naps, etc.

I attempted to make a dent in my email inbox, some thank you notes, a thinking of you card, some info on the MS walk. Didn't get ONE thing completed, but I did get about 100 things STARTED.

Jay got home and we discussed the fridge situation. Decided that we can go out and survey the situation in the refridgerator world. A call to Grandma Kim and Grandpa Don was a great relief since they were happy to watch the girls. Jay and I were off to embark on a romantic Friday evening shopping for refridgerators.

The evening went too fast and was far more complicated then anticpated. Our lovely mid-80's house - never, ever buy one if you have a choice - has a space for only a smaller fridge. So we had a choice of 2 models. Yes, they are smaller then the standard size, but no less expensive.

A quick bite to eat and we went and got the girls. Came home and went to bed. Jay's tummy started not feeling well again, so he tuckered out. My turn.

Childhood book

Emma has a book called "Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day". The title to this book went through my mind many times today. As I mentioned, last night I told Jay that I had a feeling that something really good was going to happen. It seems as though the "beings above" and I really got our lines crossed. I will see if I can sumarize:

Morning:
*Jay woke up puking

*Madeline put her hand in puke that was left on the toilet - twice

*My makeup bag fell into a partially full sink

*I knelt in poop that had unknowingly fallen out of a diaper - don't ask.

*Madeline got into my lotion and spread it all over her hands, pajamas and wall.

*Jay continued puking

*Jay could not come to school because of his illness, Emma was disappointed

Mid-day:

*Had to stop for lunch because I hadn't gone to the store

*I ate McD in the car on the way. I felt like one of those people you see on undercover stories "Hiding your food addiction"

*Tried to stop for gas, the only pump open was "pay with a card" pump - I don't have a card

*Got to my friends house to drop off the girls late and with their lunches still in a bag

*Went to Dr appointment alone. Jay still puking.

*Got turned around down at the U and got confused. Finally found my way. Late.

*The parking ramp that I usually go to was full, the attendant didn't know of another place to park. Battery on phone almost dead, so couldn't call for assistance.

I will break here to say that everything with the nurse went fine. Actually it was one of the better parts of my day, funny enough. We sat and talked for about 45 minutes about lots of stuff. She is so very nice and easy to talk to. We talked about MS, the future, the drugs, family, etc. She helped me to set up my easy injector for my shots and we practiced injecting on a plastic thing. Then we did the shot in my upper arm. It was really easy and there was no pain. The needle is one of the thinest there is. And right now as I type, I feel just fine. My MS nurse said that with the "starter" shots (titration pack it is called), it is less likely that I will have side effects. When I start moving up to the higher doses in a few weeks is when we will really have to wait and see. I have kind of a dull headache, but I am really attributing it to my day and not the drugs. I will now resume my day:

*Ran out of gas on 394 on the way home from the Dr office. Unbelievable!

*My battery was almost dead on my phone so I made one call to Jay (don't know why). He said he was on his way.

Here is where I have a couple of good things.

*My phone allowed me to make andother call. I called my dear friend who had the girls. She said don't worry, everything was great.

*MNDot came to my rescue. I started sobbing to a really nice man, he smiled, filled my car with some gas, I forced him to take money for a tip.

*Madeline started gymnastics tonight. It was so fun to do it with her. No comment on the overzealous dad that was in the class with his daughter.

Today was one of those days. All in all a pretty shitty day. So many little things. Although now that everyone is sleeping I can look at it and say, I am here, I got through the shot and currently I am feeling just fine. This was a day that I really felt so alone, but realizing that I am just alone physically. Tomorrow is a new day!

It the final countdown!

Can we have a countdown, please? In T minus - is that how you really say that - 15 hours I will be beginning my new life as an intervenus drug user. Eh, not really, it just sounds fancier and prhaps a little sexier when it is put that way. Just with a little less of the living on the streets part of it.

Actually, at 1pm tomorrow Jay and I will be back up at the U for an appintment with the MS nurse for a full tutorial of how to do my injections properly. I should clarify the above. I will be beginning my life as a subcutanious, interfeuron beta-1A drug user. At the end of the appointment I will officially be injected with the drug.

Jay is going to or has to take the day off. Of course I want him to come with me, but because of his job taking part of a day off is practically impossible. So, he will be taking the whole day off. But, it really works out well because Emma has school and Jay will be able to come. Something he wouldn't otherwise really be able to do. Emma is so excited.

Those of you who know me well will understand this. With the thought of some different possible side effects looming, I have made a promise to myself and a secret promise to the girls. Because the "flu like symptoms" doesn't include the puking part, just the fever, chills, body aches stuff I have made a committment to not let this effect my life style. Of course I am hoping that this will not even be an issue. But, I have things to do and something like this will not hold me down. I also told Jay that I hope that these drugs don't make me awful to live with, and of course with a smirk on his face he said "not any more impossible to live with then you are now." I think he followed that up with a hug.

Today I had an MS talk with Emma. I did the best that I can do with a 3 1/2 year old. The best parts of talking about these things with a kid that age is that they don't have any point of reference to come back to. They aren't going to be one of the people who immediatly says "oh, I know someone who is in a wheelchair" or "oh, that is awful". She just said "ok".

I have one of my favorite friends watching the girls tomorrow. I knew that the minute I told her that I needed her help she said yes even before she knew what day or time. I am so very lucky! And my little baby bear, Madeline, starts her gymnastics tomorrow night. I will not be missing that.

I tried to take a picture of my drugs, but I am a pretty crappy photographer and so it didn't turn out. I need my online friend, Matt, to take a photo. He could take a picture of an ice cube in a snowstorm and make it look nice.

I told Jay tonight at dinner that I have a feeling that something good will happen soon. Jay was hoping that we will win the lottery. That would be awesome, but I would be happy for just some great days, years and decades ahead.

They're here!

Today my drugs came. Alittle old man - a private delivery service - in a beat up old Chevy pick up truck showed up at our door with a small styrofoam container. In the styrofoam container was an even smaller box, about the size of a small tampon box, full of liquid that costs over $3000 per month. So I have in my possession the stuff that is hopefully going to slow down the progression of the MS. I have a tentative appointment - I have to get the kids squared away before I can confirm - for Thursday with the nurse to figure out the nuts and bolts of these injections.

A couple of things have come to mind as of late, and perhaps I have mentioned them before, maybe several times. There is a "rule" so to speak in MS. The progression of your disease within the first five years (I think that is what it is) is thought to be how your disease is going to progress life long. So far, in the first three months of this (come on, cut me some slack) I am on a pretty good road . . . ok, I have a little ways to go. Jay took my train of thought away, so I do not remember what else it was that I was going to say on this train.

This morning, as usual, I was spending sometime with Matt Lauer before the kids got up. Generally the tv goes off when they get up, but today I was trying out a new "system" for getting ready on school mornings so I was somewhat out of my element and the tv didn't got off right away. As I was making breakfast for the girls, I happened to look up at the tv - the volume was so low that I couldn't hear it - the blurb on the bottom of the screen said "Woman Living with MS" or something to that effect. Really? The one moment that I happen to glance, it is about MS. The story was actually pretty uplifting. It was a younger woman who had MS and had lost most of her ability to walk after being an athlete all her life. She was using this new apparatus that hooks to the leg, a sensor in the heel and a remote control. This machine allowed her to walk and run virtually normal again. Amazing. Her body was also retrained, therefore she did not have to use this tool all the time anymore.

We made it to school on time and Madeline and I were off to the gym. A great workout. Ran some errands and back to pick up Emma. We came home for lunch and to do some work on the house. I now understand why some people have two dishwashers. I always thought it was living in excess, but now it makes sense.

The girls layed down and I began reading a new book. Jay got home and we were off to gymnastics for Emma. And since Maddie is starting gymnastics on Thursday, Jay found her something to wear. She was very excited to try it on - over her clothes. Emma was happy to have Grandma Kim as an extra audience member tonight for her class.

Dinner and bed time followed. Jay spent a long while on the phone catching up with a friend from long ago. He was so excited to talk with him and catch up. Nate has a beautiful family and an amazing home. We have high hopes of driving out to Montana to see him and his family this summer/fall.

I was talking with a mom today before the kids got out of class. She doesn't know about my "condition", but she was talking about a friend of hers who is battling some demons. We discussed about how life can make you rich, but being truly rich or wealthy doesn't come frome money, it comes from spending quality time with family and friends cause you can't get that back. If this is truly the case, Jay and I are wealthy beyond our dreams!

Drugs are ordered!

Today was the day that the final order information was given to the pharmacy and my life with drugs will soon begin. They waste no time, as the drugs are supposed to arrive here tomorrow. After that I need to call the special MS nurse who will have to see Jay and I for the proper procedures. I am thinking that perhaps this week sometime or first part of next we will get started.

As I hope that, among other things, the drug does its job to slow the progression of the disease, I am also hoping that I will be in the minority of people who suffer from the flu like symptoms as a side effect. I glance at my calendar and see all of the things that we have going on. But, knowing myself and the committment that I have made to me, Jay and the girls. This will not get in the way of our lives. Thankfully, knowing that Jay and mom cannot take a lot of time off of work, I have several friends and other family that have offered to help if the situation would arise.

Although I have to say, at this time I have a good feeling about this. As with most things in life, this initial portion of drug therapy is only for a short amount of time in the whole scheme of things. If I stop the drug, I will have to go through the initial stage again, but it is only temporary. Jay and I have talked so much about knowing that people get deals cards in life, unfortunatly we don't know what we have in our hands. Som get a really shitty hand while others seem to float through to the end. However, I think when you get to a point in life, you find that it really isn't a matter of just floating through, it is how you react to what your hand is. Are you able to play or do you fold? I am in this game.

The day was one of, again, getting back to normal. To the gyn this morning for a very quick workout. So quick in fact, that I parked in the 30 minute parking spot. Then off to Madz class. After the parent only portion of the class, a couple of the childrens teachers commented on how much my little bean is talking. Child genius, I guess. Back home for the usual.

The evening brought a nice family dinner as we do evey night, and some play time, baths and beauty sleep. Jay is already upstairs in bed. He is so excited that it is so early and he is ready for bed in clean sheets. So glad that he is easily entertained!

My turn

I was not able to take any photos today . . . . I only have some words today!

Observation: Having the flu while you are trying to play dress up and blocks and take care of kids while trying not to get them sick is on the list of worst things!



My little alarm (Madeline) was ready to get up at 5:45. I could tell it was a cry more telling of teeth pain, then just wanting to get up. I waited a few minutes to see if she would realize how early it was. She did not. So, I went in armed with Tylenol and a lullabye. I think that I need to invent some sort of apparatus that will allow parents to see how much medicine they are giving a kid without turning the lights on.



She fell asleep for another 45 minutes. I let her cry for a couple and she fell asleep until 7:30. Unfortunatly, when I woke up, I felt like shit. My stomach hurt and just didn't feel great. So I gathered the kids, Jay was still sleeping of course, and we went to the family room and turned on the tv. Aren't there only so many brain cells that can be destroyed in a week?



When Jay got up, he realized that I was not feeling great and directed me back to bed. He got the girls dressed and they headed out the door leaving me to rest in bed all-by-myself. Just what the dr ordered. I gave thanks that I was feeling so crappy on a day that Jay was home. His company doesn't pay him for "personal" days or sick days involving taking care of the kids.



They came back several hours later. Daddy had gone to Target, Costco and lunch. I got up to play with the kiddos for a little bit before naps. We all rested.

Jay went to get some food that would satisfy us all and we chatted about the kids day with daddy. Although I wasn't able to participate in the day it was so nice that the girls were able to spend the day alone with daddy.

The evening brought about lots of relaxation time. I have always wondered what is the age that we go from not ever wanting to rest to wanting it whenever possible. I know that the latter of the two is not at 20 months. Madeline wanted me to go here and there and all around with her "mommy, come here", "mommy, walk" . . . Hoping that she is able to sleep in a little later tomorrow.

Lovin' the weekend

It is so great when the weekend comes and daddy doesn't have to work!! The girls are so excited and so am I.

Madz has been waking up kind of early and this morning she thought that I should get up at 6:15. A little fickin early, but she is so cute and just wanted to cuddle. I think those molars are casuing issues. However, we find most of the excitement of the weekend AFTER Jay wakes up. Since he is not a morning person, we have to tiptoe around the house until he gets up. For some reason he can't see that it is virtually impossible to keep two young'uns in a small house with an open layout quiet until 9:00.

Once everyone greeted the day, we were dressed and ready to head out. Jay and I decided that we should start doing some preliminary shopping for some items that are a necessity when our taxes come back. First on the list is looking into replacing some windows - the ones that let snow directly into the house.

We started at Menards. Found a nice man, Dirk, who knew A LOT about windows and was very willing to share all of that info. As he was talking an older gentleman came up and was patiently waiting behind him. I suggested that Dirk could answer that mans questions before finishing with us.

This man was very sweet and he was just there to thank Dirk for helping him the previous weekend with some fixes to a stair railing in his house. For some reason I knew exactly where this conversation was headed. The older gentleman turned to me and said "My wife has MS and of course she can't leave the house so I shop for her and bring things home and she will veto them or give them the ok." Hmmm. don't you just love it when you get smacked in the face with an ugly reminder and all you can say back is "that is so kind that you do that for her".

Jay and I had a heated "discussion" on our way to lunch. It wasn't an arguement, but he couldn't understand why I would let this man and his situation get to me. I tried explaining that I wasn't sad because I was living his situation, just for the fact that I can understand and talk about my MS with those that I have chosen to do so with and be just fine. But, when you are unprepared to see a stranger and see them living a life that I hope and pray that I don't have is a little disheartening. However, a burger from Lion's Tap was able to lift the spirits - this was my first time and wow, that was awesome!

That was the only running that we got done today. Jay and the kids layed down for a nap and I just relaxed in a full, but quiet house.

For dinner Jay whipped up a terrific chicken pasta dish. Holy cow it was good. Threw the girls in for a bath, then we all sat down for movie night. Jay picked up a Thomas the Train movie. It was pretty cute.

I drugged Maddie up with some Tylenol to hopefully take the edge off the molars coming, read her books and put my little bean to bed. Then Emmas turn. Being 3 1/2 is a tough time for the kids as well as the parents. Their little bodies are going through so much. One day, or I could say one hour, she will be Elvira. The next she is the sweetest little thing. Tonight was the sweet one. We cuddled, read books, then put her to bed as well. Jay and I watched a stupid comedy movie and are now on our way to bed.

My sweet babes

Observation for the day: It doesn't bother me one bit to leave the house unshowered, in sweats to hit the town with my kiddos. Boy, I am sure that my outsides look like shit, but inside I am glowing!

A day with nothing planned. That doesn't happen often, so when it does it is a nice surprise. We took a lot of time this morning playing around with almost every toy that is upstairs. I was hoping to get a move on and out the door around 10. True to form, we didn't get out of the door until 10:30. B.C. - Before Children - I was always at least on time if not early to everything!

Ran into the gym for just a little while. Due to illness and school, etc this was only the second time that I had been there this week. My workout buddy is gone on vacation so I have been left to my own devices. I did an ok job, the dull winter is starting to take a toll and not give me much incentive to do anything active.

We left the gym, swung into a car wash - doing what we can to stimulate the economy and keep daddy in a job, the on to the gymnastics gym! The girlies need a little workout as well. The were only a few other kids there so we were able to run, jump and swing our little hearts out! It was a blast. The gal that was supervising the kids noted that "there isn't much that will stop Madeline, is there?" Nope, she is just a little steam engine. Everything is funny to her and she will do all she needs to to keep up with her sister.

Emma requested a stop at Subway for lunch and we HAD to eat there. The girls were such a joy at lunch. Both on their best behavior! We spent quite a bit of time there, eating, laughing, going potty a couple of times and having dessert. During lunch, really out of no where, Emma gently took Madz hand and said, "You know what makes me happy mommy? Playing with my sister and being able to touch her and hold her hand." (I know that is exactly what she said because I made a literal note of it right away.) Oh, so sweet. Like I said, a great lunch. Home for naps and to finish a book that I had been reading.

I am really happy that I have been starting to read again. There have been some wonderful reads. And, in the 14 years that Jay and I have been together, I have very rarely seen him ever read a book. He said that the most he has ever read is since Emma was born. But, in the past few months he has found a few books and gets throught them quite quickly and likes it!

Jay came home from work ready to relax for the weekend. We were invited to Grandma Kim and Grandpa Dons house for the evening. My sister offered to make dinner.

Rachel Ray assisted in the stuffed chicken breasts. They were divine! We ate, drank, had fun and sopped up blood from Maddie's mouth meeting the floor. Poor little thing! She had a fat lip.

Came home with the girls both slumped over in the car fast asleep. Made a nice transition to bed and that is where Jay is already off in dream land. A nice relaxing weekend ahead!!

Back to normal

Thankfully yesterday is over. This morning I had two healthy kids and we got to school on time - almost early actually! Hallejuah!! I wasn't sure that day was ever going to come!

Emma and I enjoyed a nice time in school together learning spanish, some new songs as well as some pattern stuff. Madeline went to sib care. She will still cry for the first couple of minutes, the just has a grea time playing with the terrific gals that watch over the kids. She even asked to go potty!!

We just came right home after school and enjoyed sometime together with playing school, sleep over and cars. The girls napped and I did some typing, online viewing and made some calls. Madz woke up at exactly 1 1/2 hours - that kid has one hell of an internal clock. But, right when I got her up we sat down to read books and she fell asleep in my arms for another 1/2 hour. It is hard to leave her to cry. First, because she is so darn cute and she yells "mommy, where are you?", but secondly she is and can crawl out of her crib if you don't go and get her right away. I have a feeling that she will be out of her crib by the age of 2. Just like her sister!

Daddy got home late and we ate the played dance party. We turned on 80's music to deafening levels and all dance around. It was a lot of fun. Then we played gymnastics. Emma said that she wants Madeline to sleep in her bed with her. So, we started talking to her about them sharing a room or Madeline moving into the other room right next to hers. Emma said that she wanted to think about it.

Story time and bed time for the little ones. Now, bedtime for us. A very nice day with nice girls!

A Puking Sort Of Day

I was woken up this morning at 1:21am by little Maddie. It was very strange and only about the third time in her life (besides the couple of times that she has done so at Grandma Kim and Grandpa Don's house and the two nights in the hospital) that she has done that.

I went in and picked up the little cuddle bug, sang a short lullabuy and layed her back down. I walked out of her room and made a note to myself that Jodz, the cat, looked funny in the hallway. When I got closer, I realized that it wasn't Jodz, it was Emma. I swear, sometimes Madez and Emma must discuss what time to wake up. I picked up little Em and brought her back down to her room. She was a bit reluctant to go to bed, but I sang her the ABC's and told her about the improtance of all of us getting a good nights sleep and I went up to bed.

About 1/2 hour later, I heard Emma up again and went down to see what was up. She said she wanted me to cuddle with her. After a few minutes, I left promising that I would check on her in a couple of minutes. Three minutes later all was well and I went back to bed.

At 6:17 I was jolted out of bed by the undeniable sound of someone or something mid-puke. My brain quickly told me that it was louder then the cat and the dogs were downstairs. Got to the hallway to see Emma hunched over. Poor thing. No one ever wants their child to be sick, but geez they are so cuddly and lovey!

Set Emma up on the couch with some tv, water, juice and a puke bucket. After a few more rounds with loosing her lunch, so to speak, she just sat on the couch for the majority of the day. Madeline would join her periodically. They took turns falling asleep on the couch. I was in constant referee mode trying to get the girls to stop kissing each other or trying to wipe each others noses. They are such lovers toward each other, most of the time, that keeping them apart can be tough. It was driving me crazy how much tv was on today, I could practically hear their brains turning to mush. You do what you need to do to get through days like these sometimes.

As of about lunch time, Emma was fine. She ate food and even got up to play. Back to her old self again. Everyone took an early nap.

Jay came home and we had a legnthy discussion about how life can throw curve balls at you and you need to do the best with what you get. Nothing is guaranteed. We have been put to the test with that many times. I think we all do at one time or another.

I got a nice sweater on to go and ask some questions at a City Council meeting regarding some road work that we are getting charged lots of money for. This whole deal about being charged for this stuff is so irritating to me. The gal at the meeting nicely told me that if you cannot afford to pay the entire amount right away we can bill you for 6 years with some ungodly amount of interest. What the hell. I just wanted to say "you can add it to the list lady"!

Home for dinner and baths. Jay went to skate with some guys to blow off some steam and I put the girlies to bed. Hoping that all goes well tonight. Back to regular schedule tomorrow.

Welcome to changing your life

This morning, like most school mornings, was a lesson in efficiency and timing. With Emma's attitude starting off right where she left off last night, I knew that we were going to be tardy. With some sort of miracle we got to school.



With a quick drop of my eldest, little Maddie and I were off. We were told about a cosmetics giveaway that was happening today. So we decided to check it out and use a gift certificate that was received for Christmas.




When we got to Macy's, we found 1000+ of our closest friends waiting for their free items as well. I looked at the line and watched as a group of women were leaving while mumbling about the 2 hour wait ahead. Well, my watch said that I had 2 hours before we picked up Emma so I thought that Madz and I would stick it out for a while and as long as she would cooperate with me.



The line moved very fast and we only ended up waiting for about 35 minutes. We took our free perfume and went to spend actual money - well, a gift certificate - on other needed items and left.



Hurried back to Emma's school a bit early because Madeline was telling me that she needed to go "potty". I forgot how much work it is to potty train. We are in no way pressuring her, this is all on her own. But, now that she can do it and wants to go potty for "money" (M&M's) we need to stop everything when nature sends it's call and that is very often and in any/every store.




People have asked how we are able to get our kids potty trained so early. This is what I tell them, I am not sure that we do anything in particular. We have never pressured the gals because it doesn't bother me to change diapers. We are not very modest around our house. Being naked is part of nature and we need to be secure with our bodies as well as teaching the girls to be as well. Another reason why we NEVER talk about being fat or really any descriptives about our bodies (thankfully we are comfortable with ourselves like we are) except how beautiful they are. And it is necessary to use the proper words for body parts - yes, we openly say "vagina" "penis" "breasts". Why wouldn't we? That is what they are called, right? And generally the bathroom door is left open not as a rule, but just because we are fine with it and it obviously helped the girls to be as well.



We came home, made lunch and played. I attempted to clean up the house a bit. We read stories and then nap time. Upon arrival at home, there was a FedEx package. We don't get those often. So when I see them, I get excited that there may be some fun thing in there for the kids, something unexpected for me?!? Well, yes, in a way, that was the case. I got a "Welcome" kit from Pfizer for the Rebif, along with a travel case and auto injector for the shots. Not quite what I was looking for from FedEx. I called the pharmacy people. Theysaid that they are able to ship out my drugs anytime, I just need to pay them money. We will have to put some money on the card then call her back. A feeling of this being the end of my real "normalcy" a good bye to the way things have been. Just a hope that the future will allow me to keep moving and living my life the way I have been.



Emma woke up 45 minutes after she went to bed. I gently suggested that she lay down and relax for a while more. Ugh, after the moments last night, a little extra shut eye will do my little beauty good.


I went onto the MS webiste and looked into the Walk to raise money. I will be signing up and forming a team. But, I will give out the details when there are some. The only thing that is known is that it is May 3.

Jay got home and the girls woke up. A while later it was time to get ready for gymnastics. This was Emma's last class in this session. The club gets a BIG jumping thing for the last day. So after some tumbling and such the kids were off to play. I stayed in the preschool gym to let Madeline play on the things. She LOVED it. I can't wait to sign them both up for the next session.

Came home for a late dinner, some playing, then off to bed for the littlest baby. She actually went to bed at the right time - 8:30. She can always stay up later, but that allows us time to get Emma to bed by 9:00 and us time to spend together. It usually doesn't happen that way, but it is the effort that counts.

Some catching up

I need to play catch up a bit. I am going all the way back to Saturday.



We were running like little maniacs trying to get all of the items ready for the baby shower that evening. There were so many stores that we stopped at, it would almost be easier to tell you which ones did not get our money.

After naps, I dropped the kids off for a fun filled evening with Grandma Kim and Grandpa Don. Jay and I finished prepping before the guests arrived.

The evening was filled with tons of laughs, good drinks and great food. I laughed myself horse a few times and certain that there was a snort or two in there as well. A nice evening to celebrate the birth of a lucky baby to a wonderful couple.

Sunday morning, because the kids were at Grandma and Grandpa's, I slept in until 8:15!! I couldn't believe the clock when I looked at it! We got up and got dressed, swung over to pick up the kiddies and were off to church.

Because the report from Grandma that the girls, in particular Madeline, did not sleep well last night things started to fall apart after church and a movie. Everyone layed down for a nice nap. Boy, that felt good!!

Jay got up to do our taxes. We are lucky to be getting a little of money back, but not much. Let me rephrase that, the people that we owe money to are lucky that we are getting money back. Without so many medical bills we could almost put money toward something that we need or even want. . . Although I think we are going to have to try to make it work for some new windows and perhaps a new fridge. We get snow blowing in several windows (lovely, huh?) and the seal on the fridge is not good and can be opened by the dogs. Ahh, the beauty of buying a house built in the mid-80's. Never do it!! The rest of the evening was filled with much of the same. Spending time playing together and enjoying our time.

This morning we were invited to a playdate because classes were cancelled to observe Martin Luther King Jr. Unfortunatly, I have to admit, I did not do much observing. However, I did do a little silent reflecting in the car about where we are and were things have started. All of this on the cusp of a new President that has broken through lots of barriers.

We made a very quick stop at the gym then off to our friends houses. It was great to have the gang back together again! We caught up on life, talked discipline, naughty tricks the kids were up to and how to handle different situations. The kids have a great time and getting together with these gals is really awesome. We have a rapport that cannot be duplicated. Always a great reminder of how getting involved with the community and your kids education/learning at an early age can benefit everyone.

I took a couple of tuckered out girls home and we played dress up and pet store for a while. Then after a small tantrum by Emma (see photo), the girls went down for a nap. I sat down to fashion a letter of sorts. Mom stopped by with a surprise - my perfume!! She found my favorite. His purpleness would be so proud!

After only an hour, Emma was up. Seeing toys strewn all over her bed, I knew that she did not get a lot of sleep if any. So I asked her to play quietly for a while. Madz got up a little while later and the crazies started to come out!!

Emma quietly slipped away, while Elvira made a dramatic entrance. Elvira started taking advantage of a little sister who only wanted to play and a mommy and daddy who wanted to teach her some manners. She got out of control and drove us crazy - as only a 3 1/2 year old can! Bath time was hectic and was more work then it should have been. I am pretty sure that Jay and I have never had to be that firm simultaniously. We could have turned the heat off and just warmed up with the hot air being strewn out of our mouths.

Jammies and bedtime! Although I have to say, when all things calm down and we are quietly reading books, cuddling and talking about the day, all of the icky stuff goes out the window - probably in the sam place as the snow comes in. We have the sweetest little girls around. And, as we tell Emma "No matter if mommy and daddy are mad or sad or happy or glad we always, always love you"!

Guess who???

Hi everybody. I know it's been a long time since anyone has heard from me. It isn't that I don't have anything to say,(those of you who know me can keep your comments to yourself, haha). I have been extremely busy and I just feel that through this whole decision on which drug "A" wants to start on, is a decision that we talk about together and then she can discuss herself. I just wanted to pipe in and say thanks everyone for caring and showing interest, weather your family or just checking in from another country. It is truly amazing that over a 1000 people have clicked on our site. So to family and friends I want to say thank you, love you, and we will talk soon(weather you like it or not,haha). I will be in touch soon. For know I need to get back to fixing this equipment so we don't damage any 300,000 cars and we keep the world driving clean. A clean car is a beautiful car, so wash often and look for that Turtle wax logo, thank you for you support(HAHAHA).

(Oh yea that's our equipment and that's a Bentley, I'm like a proud Father)

Love J

late party night

The last of our guest just left after a really awesome baby shower. What a fun night of food, fun and friends. The kiddos were safely entertained and cared for by grandma and grandpa and we were free to have fun without worrying.

We will write more tomorrow since we are going to clean up a bit and go to bed. Sweet dreams for all.

Can't find my camera

A nice day of staying home, which certainly doesn't happen much around here. Emma had a nice little playdate with a boy friend of hers from school. A nice little boy that calls me Ms. Andrea. They had a great time of playing with Madeline tagging along every step of the way. It is wonderful to listen to them talk and actually discuss things with each other.

My sister stopped by dring transition while her car was getting fixed by a trusted customer of Jay's. She and I watched the kiddos play and we caught up on things.

Time came for Emma's little friend to leave. And Grandma Kim to arrive - well, today I could say that she is my "employee". She came to "help me" clean my house in preparation for the little party we are having tomorrow night. Actually, I didn't do much helping, which was probably better for everyone. I tried to keep the kids at bay while the others cleaned. I did have to turn in on of my "house cleaning coupons" that was given to me at Christmas time.

Jay got home and we relaxed over a drink while having a very nice, deep talk. The kids were occupied with Seasme Street. Then off to Costco to stock up on party items.

We topped off the evening with dinner. I have said before how great madz is doing with potty training, and she still is. The only thing about potty training is that they are just getting to "know" their bodies, so at times it is hard to tell the difference in the bodily functions. So, needless to say, I spend most of the meal time going back and forth to the bathroom with a little Madeline eager to go potty.

Home and straight to bed for my little babes. Right now Jay is asleep on the couch. Not because I put him there, just because he was too tired to drag himself to bed. I will do my best before I head to bed myself.

I have added a new link to the web page on the left. It is for "the love of Liz". A website and group devoted to raising money and things needed for spouses, partners and kids who have had parents die. Also, my friend Matt Logelin is featured in People magazine this month. We were asked to submit photos that we had taken on the memorial walk this fall to People for this article, but they decided not to use them. He is someone who I have talked to about the morphasis of his blog, what is written, how he writes and how people react. It seems that no matter who you are and what you write about, there are always people who don't like something you write. He is an amazing man with true skill for the beautiful written word and photos.

My pillows are calling.

Oh, the weather . . .

Well, the weather is the topic on everyones frozen faces lately. But, I have found that there is a fine line with Minnesotans about what you can and can't talk about with regards to weather.

Many of us, online, talk amongst ourselves about how cold and frozen it is, but when someone interjects their opinions we for some reason get protective. Several of the Californians love to do that!!

For example, this morning, a person from a drug company for Avonex (the drug I am not going on) called to just touch base to see if they could do anything. She had to confirm my address. When I told her what it was, she said, "Oh it is really cold there?" "Yes, it is very cold." "How can you live where it is so cold"? "It isn't always easy, but our families live here so . . ." "It is nice here in N. Carolina almost all of the time". There is something about when they ask about the cold then rub it in.

Although today I told Jay that we can move to California. If he said yes, I was ready to start the packing. But, he reminded me that several years ago he wanted to do it, but I said that I wasn't ready. Now, he couldn't leave a job he loves and family. Hmmm. I will work on that.

School was closed today because of the cold. So I packed up the girls for the gym. My workout was pretty half assed. I did all of my equiptment, but there was no oomph involved. At least I got my body working. We were invited to play at a friends house, but the little one had a cold with green snot so I passed. Opting for grocery shopping at the local establishment that actually has carryout service.

We got home, ate lunch, the girls "played" with markers (see photo above) and layed down for a nap. My MS nurse called to confirm my drug choice and to get some other information. She also asked if I would want to be a part of a study with Rebif users. I said of course. She was so thankful that I was willing. It seems almost a "no brainer" since we are all in the same boat, wouldn't we want to do all that we can to find the best course of action for this stuff??

I called Jay and asked him to swing by the store on his way home to grab the necessary items that I forgot - diapers, t.p. Although I don't think that we will be long for diapers as Madeline thinks that she is the potty expert these days.

Jay got home with the needed items as well as all of the fixins for Viera movie night. So much fun! I quickly fixed dinner while Jay dove into a legnthy project on the computer. We threw the girls in for a quick bath then downstairs to the theatre.

Showing tonight, Horton Hears a Who. Cute movie! Then stories and off to dreamland for the little ones. Jay was not far behind. An exhausting day for my guy!

The decision has been made

This morning I had the idea to go to the gym, but I just couldn't make myself do it. The later in the morning it got the less likely we were to get there. So I decided that we would run errands to return and exchange some things.

I make this one recommendation for anyone, do NOT attempt to go to Ulta (the cosmetics and beauty products store) with two small children. For Christmas I received some perfume, that I like but wasn't sure it was me. So we headed into the store knowing it would have to be a quick look around. After 10 minutes of Madeline and Emma both spraying different fragrences wildly and moving all of the bottles to different locations, I told the attendant I would be back without my assistants some day. Thankfully I found my old fragrence online, so I may not have to endure that fiasco again. The rest of the day was successful.

At the end of our final stop we swung into the "germ pit" at the EP Mall. I believe that the afternoon is the perfect time to go there. So few kids with seemingly attentive parents. The kids had a ball and I had a great time watching them. Madeline is just a wild woman. She can navigate some of these play things better then boys almost twice her age!

Home for naps and some relaxation. This morning I traded messages back and forth with the MS nurse and finally I had to leave a detailed message for her regarding some of my symptoms as well as our drug choice.

May I have a drum roll please . . . . . the winner is - Rebif!!! Well, we can only hope that it is a winner. I have done some research online and there is not one drug that is perfect and the rest suck. Everyone has different experices and some help some people and not others. It is a real crap shoot. I am hoping with all hopes that I do not endure the flu like symptoms for months on end, but if I do??? Oh well.

In reading some of the stories out there, I cannot decide if you become more thankful or scared shitless about the future. Stories about 39 year old bed ridden females with MS - call in Dr. Kavorkian! - to people who feel great. There is something that is so not great about knowing that you have a disease that is slowly trying to take away your ability to move. I am all about moving, that is me - day in and day out. I can only hope and pray that I will be able to fight this disease until a cure is found. I have always been for stem cell research, but once you get a disease like this there is no way that you could be against it.

Some other reasons weighed in on our decision for Rebif, but in the end it is almost let's try it and see sort of theory.

Jay got home and he thought that he should stay home tonight to be with the girls rather then going to the party for Casey's American Idol premiere. I was kind of bummed because we don't spend much time together alone (I guess this would not have been alone), but greatful that he wanted to spend time with the girls alone. So off I went.

It was fun to be there as she saw herself on tv auditioning for the biggest thing in her life so far. It brought tears to my eyes to see someone elses daughter do so well and see her dreams coming true. My friend and Casey's mom were on top of the world. Soooo much fun. I will reserve my photos of Casey, in person, until she wins the show!!?! So in the meantime here is a photo from the tv that we were watching Casey perform on.

When I got home, Jay, Emma, Madz and I watched the audition about 10 times - slow motion, frame by frame and regular time all as requested by Emma. The kids and Jay had already seen it about 2o times before I even got home.

A nice day with the kiddos. A day of realization and eyes wide open for life in the future.

short but sweet

It is late, I am tired and the clean sheets still need to be put on the bed. Oh, how I love clean sheets!

This is a school day and we were out the door for a typical Tuesday. Dropped Emma off and went to the gym for a full fledged workout. Gosh, it felt good! Maddie and I swung into the grocery store for a free kids apple and dinner. Back to pick up an adorable Emma (she agreed to wear a dress with TIGHTS today. Something crazy must have happened during her nap on Sunday because she woke up as my sweet, lovable Em again) and home for lunch, craft time and naps.

Jay got home early and we had some drug and life discussions. Not so keen on having to admit the obvious and doing any more research doesn't get me far. People always have bad expierences on something or the other. So no matter what your choice is there is always 1000 people out there saying that is the worst drug. We are just going to jump on the wagon and give it a shot. We can make adjustments later on as we traverse through our life and future. Will make the call into the nurse tomorrow.

Then off to gymnastics. It became clear tonight that we may have to find a class for Madz to take as well. She just goes bezerk to join Emma. After class we let her run around and she is up and down and all around. During each thing that Em does she always has to come over to give Madeline a hug and a kiss and tell her she loves her. So very sweet!

A night of catching up on the first episode of American Idol. Tomorrow night we are off to a "party" for Casey Carlson, our babysitter and friend who will be on tomorrow night from the Kansas City auditions. It will be fun. Watch for her.

My sheets are calling and so is my pillow! (This photo was the girls playing around giving hugs today. It looks like Emma is strangling Maz, but she really isn't)

closer...

The morning started off as any typical Minnesota winter morning with a shit load of snow. The kids were so excited!

Emma helped to make eggs for breakfast, then we got dressed and ready to go to the gym. I did put in a message to the MS nurse to ask my question. By the time we actually got to the gym, I really only had about 20 minutes to workout. So, Mr Eliptical would have to settle for a quickie today. I did slide into a couple of the other machines so that I could feel like an actual "workout" was accomplished. Then we were off to Maddie's class.

Last week the class was in jeopary of being cancelled. So we put out a call to all of our friends and thankfully 3 awesome friends of mine heeded the call and joined the class. We enjoyed our time and Emma enjoyed her time with the new friends in sibling care as well.

We came home instead of making our usual stop at the store. Jay said that he would do that on our way home. So to the homestead for lunch and to play dress up and the like before nap time.

During the imaginary birthday party that we were having, I received a call from the nurse. She answered my question and provided a bit more information. Part of the real issue, which I am sure that I have voiced before, is that none of the drugs are superior to the other, so to speak. It is really just figuring out which of the side effects you would rather bear. . . . The lesser of two evils?

Jay got home and made a delicious meal, then the girlies took a nice long bath. They played and played and played.

Read Madeline books and put her to sleep with her blanket and sleeping buddies. I asked Emma to choose which game we would play after Madeline was asleep and I sat down for a minute to start typing this post. When we went downstairs to start our evening game, this is what we found. A little angel.

What is the next step you say? Well, the next step is to make a final decision. The nurse assured me that if I have more questions or want to go and see the Dr again that would be no problem. But, I feel that seeing the doctor again would be really just a delay strategy.

With my fingers feeling numb the past day, I think that my body is saying "this shit is here to stay so figure out what the hell you are going to do". Alright already! Jay and I need to sit down to have a talk about somethings. There are some life things that we wanted to do and accomplish and to become that could be hindered by the timing of the drugs and/or the side effects. We need to talk about the future and things that most young couples don't have to or hopefully don't have to worry about. We just need to find the time. Or I should say make the time.

Getting closer

As the weekend comes to a close, I begin to look at the packed week ahead. For some reason I always feel like the winter time is a "slow" time. But, I think each and every winter, especially as the kids get older, it gets busier and busier.

Anyway, one of the first things to do tomorrow is to place a call into the MS nurse at the U of M. I am coming closer in to my final drug decision. It is amazing how much information there ISN'T out there. Now, when I say "drug", I could only wish that I was considering something more tangable like making the decision to do pot, or acid, possibly cocaine. However, I am a little "old" to be partaking in that crap and when you have a family you have greater responsibilities to consider. No, my drug decision consists of deciding on what drug I could potentially be on the rest of my life. Each drug has issues to consider. I hesitate using the old addage "ups and downs" because there really aren't any ups to speak of with them. Except that they are supposed to help slow down the progression of the disease.

I have one question to ask the nurse tomorrow. After that I will reponder my final decision, then put the call in to start the process.

Not too excited. Once the decision is made and I have the drugs in hand, there is a finality of "normalcy" that is gone forever from my life. Since my first, and only episode, I have felt just fine. Some timgeling here and there and the past few days my fingertips in the same hand have been feeling a bit numb. But, I was told that is a left over of the episode that has not totally cleared off and perhaps may be something that could be there the rest of my life. No big deal given the alternative.

Today we went to church. It was a particularly moving service. The sermon that my favorite pastor did was excellent. Brought many of us to tears. Just a moving time for both Jay and I.

A nice weekend overall fairly relaxing aside from Emma's new "I am 3 1/2 going on 13 and menapausal" attitude. We are working on that one.

Short, but sweet

It is 11:00 and I am more then ready to retire for the day.

We started off our day with a nice trip to the gym where I met Super Mary for a nice workout. It is really great to workout with a friend. We are never at a loss of words when we are together. Afterward, we scooped up our kids to begin our hunt for any items relating to the Chinese New Year.

About once per month or so, Super Mary and her super hubby and super son get together with my little family and we have a "Schmorg". This is a special dinner named after a large meal that we once had at college together. UMD affectionatly called it a "schmorgasboard", and we felt the tradition should live on. We also add a theme to our schmorg. The one this evening was celebrating the Chinese New Year. The food was being ordered, but who can have a party (a real party, not a stuffy party that you are trying to impress everyone) without proper accessories?

We trompsed the kids through 3 or 4 different stores - I lost count and does it really matter? It was a lot of fucking stores with 3 anxious little kids and a lack of Chinese paraphanalia. We finally found the items that would satisfy our quota.

Later in the evening Super Mary and her entourage showed up. Mary and I displayed the decor and the guys went out to get the food and special beer. We had great food, good drink, awesome conversation and an all around wonderful time! It was a great night, with terrific friends that are like family - well, we do consider them family.

It is late and we are all ready for bed. When you see the little ones looking so sweet and content it is easy to forget about the 1/2 gallon of milk that they spilled all over the floor, the four different outfits tht were worn, the "shut up" that was spewed, the peices from three different games that were thrown all over, the "you make me so, so angry" that was yelled at you more then twice in one day . . . . . The words change, but the meaning never does - I love you, babe.

So many words, so little time

So, this morning I was determined to get out the door and get Em to school on time.

I woke up at the usual time, but instead of reading to the kids for an hour, we read for about 25 minutes. Then I scooped them up for a quickie breakfast of Cheerios and strawberries.

By this time I, had not looked at the clock once. Got Emma downstairs nd went through the arguous task of finding the right outfit for the day and hung up some clothes. I still was assumming that I was about 30 minutes or so ahead of my usual schedule.

Went upstairs to get little peanut dressed. She doesn't have as much to input as the older one does when it comes to clothing. So we got done with that fairly easily.

I figured that I should start getting ready and I was already fantasicing about my arrival on time or even early to class. However, my fantasy was dashed when I looked at the clock to see 9:01 staring me in the face. School starts at 9:15 and at this point I was still in my pajamas! Ugh.

I took an ultra quick shower - it was really just an excuse to wash my face and brush my teeth. Hopped out and into clothes and we were out the door by 9:17. Well, only 12 minutes late for the start of class.

Kind of a heavy mommy class today as one of the women in class confided that her daughter was sexually assulted by her Godfather this summer. The thought makes a shudder go down the spine of any parent.

Emma and I enjoyed a spanish lesson befor school was over - I had signed her up for another spanish class because she loves it so much. But, I received a call that the class was canceled because Emma was the only one that signed up. Bummer. We swung in to pick Madz up from her sibling class. The teachers were recounting how much fun she is and how she is VERY skilled at climbing and getting around. That was not news to me! I have always said that she is a little boy in a girls body.

Our friends invited us to McD's for lunch and to catch up after holiday break. As usual a great time! Home for naps and relaxation.

Jay got home and after a quick kiss and a hello to an already awake Maddie he was stuck to the laptop computer for the reainder of the evening. We just got it back yesterday from a total overhaul and now all of the settings need to be put back on.

Ate dinner and tried to plow through Emma's new attitude of a 13 year old. I am sure that I have mentioned this before that anyone who has said that 2 year olds are terrible have never had a 3 1/2 year old. Even those parents who you would expect would never be ones to talk about some of the challenges of parenthood will certainly agree that this is by far the most challenging stage.

Madeline is putting together scentances and words very well. I told her to go and tell daddy that is was dinner time. She stood at the top of the stairs and said "Dinner daddy. Eat. Table. Dinner". She is a great talker and she respondes so well. It is so much fun!!

Bath time and books. Emma and I spent some time looking through and reading about animals of the Antartic and comparing their location with her new globe. It was so fun and amazing to see her talk about things that I haven't "taught her". She pointed out the Indian Ocean and when I spoke about Asia, she asked if that was where China is. . . I guess that I am going to have to brush up on all of my basic gradeschool knowledge.

Tomorrow will be preparation for the Chinese New Year Schmorgasboard that we will be celebrating with our awesome friends!

More then my MS friend

I was asked once about why I was/was not including some peoples names in my posts. There are a few reasons why I leave many names out.

1. There are people reading these posts who do not know who any of the "players" are, therefore leaving names out and just putting in a descriptor "my cousin", etc. is a lot easier and sometimes those reading do not care about personal names

2. As I have said before, this is my blog or "my journal" per say, and this

is how I chose to write about things. The end.

That is a long intoduction to my post. This is one of the handful of times that I have actually given a little thought to before I sat down to write. Mostly because it is a helpful for me to think through some things particularly when it comes to MS while I am writing and perhaps get a different view from the one that is in my head. And we all know that the view in my head is a little screwy - yes, that is a little "MS humor" there. Come on, we can all laugh!

I talk about adding peoples names to my posts because today was my date with my "MS friend". I believe that this woman will be a wonderful inspiration to me as a fellow MS'er as well as an inspiration as a friend and woman. Also, after meeting her in person and having time to chat a bit, I felt that referring to her as my MS friend, all be it true, will not be acurate. As she will, hopefully, be more then that. Therefore, I believe that I will refer to her as Jennifer - coincidentially, that is her name!

The girls and I got up and spent most of the morning reading, then packed up and drove to Jennifers house. Meeting someone who is, for all general purposes, has so very much in common with you without knowing anything about you is a strange position to be in. But, Jennifer and her beautiful little girl welcomed us into their home.

The girls and I had a great time. For the most part, everyone was on their best behavior. When it was time to go, Emma fell apart.

Jennifer has a very easy going spirit about her, down to earth and open. We talked about motherhood, our families, the holidays and of course, MS. Although thankfully, we found many other things to occupy our time.

There are some things that Jennifer said about MS that I forgot that I knew, some things that I did not know and other things that helped me to change my mind back and forth. We did agree that so many doctors have so many varying different thoughts on treatment and approach.

Jennifer talked about her short time on Copaxone and how she didn't like some of the side effects. She has never been on Rebif, although she is currently on Avonex - Rebif is just a stronger form of Avonex, both are interfeurons - and is doing very well.

She looks beautiful, has a beautiful daughter (she actually has two but the other was at school), a wonderful home and a nice life. Things that are so great to see for anyone in your life, but even better for someone that was in my shoes 4 years ago.

The girls and I packed up. As I pulled out of the driveway the thought crossed my mind that she and I probably would not have crossed paths in life had our lives been going down the road of least resistance. We, as well as our spouses, know that life is not made up of one grassy filled open field. There are stops along the way that perhaps make you see how bright and beautiful things really are because you find that you are so lucky to still be on the road.

So on a side note, as I was checking in with Matt Lauer this morning. I was rudely awakened out of my daze when Ann Coulter came on to duke it out with Matt. I really do not care which side you are on and this is certainly not a call for people to get crabby over politics. But, holy hell, that woman is the worst! I swore to myself if she is ever, ever on the Today show or anything again I will not watch one more minute of her. The onesided views and hatred out of that woman is one reason why we cannot get more done in politics. . . I cannot even write any more about her. Yuck.

Anyway, another school day tomorrow.

Monday and Tuesday

Last night got too late and I was too relaxed to write anything.

Monday was a nice day. Jay did not have to work and the classes that the girls were in are starting up again after the holiday break. I was sooo excited that Jay would have the chance to come to Madelines class with Emma and I.

Because of his job and the fact that they do not have "personal days" or other opportunities to take time off (with his job it is virtually impossible to step out for a couple hours throughout the day) we were so happy to have him come with us to Maz's class.

We got to school and brought Emma into the sibling care room. We tell her that she is there to help the teachers and she loves that. But, really there are a couple of other kids there her age and they read a ton of books, do crafts and have a snack with some of the awesome paraprofessionals.

Then on to Madelines class. Jay was not used to the "chaos" that accompanies such an occassion. But, he kept up fairly well. He was entertained when Maddie put on her "show" during song time. She is such a ham!

Then we split off into parent time. We didn't have much of a true discussion as we typically do. We really just reconnected after the holidays and discussed the ups and downs of some of our Christmas gatherings.

Then off to lunch and home for naps.

Jay made sloppy joes for an early dinner before I had to head to a board meeting for a group that I am part of. Funny how a nice, all be it short, drive in the car all by myself feels like a get away. The meeting turned out to be successful and to find agreement on some end results that will help out our program.

After the meeting, I came home to find my little family almost ready for bed. I was redy for some relax time with daddy.

This morning was a back to school morning for Emma. Which meant running at break neck speed to get there on time. Emma was still stuck on "Jamaican time". So her word for the day that she also repeated to her teachers was "tardy".

While Emma was in school, Madeline and I ran off to the gym for a nice workout. I rekindled my relationship with Mr Eliptical, all be it only for a quick rendevoux. But, was able to get the rest of the body worked on as well. Then to the store and back to pick up Emma.

We were in a hurry home to meet up with our neighbor who invited us over for a lunch and to visit. It was a nice time. However, Emma quickly found her comfort level and turned off all of her listening functions. There is something about being at someone elses house, especially ones that do not have small kids, and keeping your kids under control that can really wear someone out. Thankfully these neighbors do not have lots of expensive things or even breakable things so we escaped without oweing for any breakables.

Came home and put the kids to bed. I had laundry that could have been done, stuff to take care of in the dishwasher and phone calls to make. But, I had absolutly no energy to do any of it. The kiddos had run me ragged. Ufdah. So I started reading a new book in a very quiet house. Ahhh.

Jay came home and we started dinner. But, only just a start because Emma started her gymnastics tonight!! We all were so excited. Jay and I love to watch her, Madeline loves anything that Emma does and Emma loves to do it! A great form of excersize. Madeline was not happy that her sister was so far away and doing somehting without her. I took lots of photos but I could not get the flash and the lighting to work out so all of the photos look pretty crappy. I will try the 35mm next time.

Came home for dinner and bath. I think that Madeline may be starting to get some molars so her typical happy personality was hindered by some biting on her finger and tears. So here I am with one happy sleeping baby and Emma is sitting on my lap. She is eager to type. Here is her addition to this posting:

iouyteryiuop\pljhyu

Her bedtime is here and I must get to bed as well. Tomorrow is a "date" with my MS friend!