Monday, December 29, 2008

So many decisions...

When I sit down at the computer to write my thoughts, feelings and events of my day here on the blog, I do not think or analyze the contents before hand. I just let my fingers do the walking, per say. This past week I have had to explain this to some and thought the rest of you reading this should also be let in on how I come to what I write.


This is, some might say, a personal journal or as I have quoted a definision from Wikipedia says "a place to write or comment". I do this freely and if I, as someone who also reads a few blogs, do not like what is being said I can choose not to come back and read again or I will contact the author directly. The beauty of the United States is we have those options.



All that being said, todays blog is a bit different because as you will see I have been doing some research about drug options for MS and it has been continuously creeping into my mind. I have put some thought in about what I want to write here about my drug choices. Perhaps in hopes that writing it down will clarify things for me.

I started out the day recovering from an evening of mingling and drinking with some people from high school for a small 15 year class reunion. After I left the reunion last night, one of the first thoughts that came to my mind as I left was that I had felt like a "normal" person. There hasn't been much thought given to the fact, lately, that I am "different". But, being around so many other people who don't have many cares in the world - or seemingly so - it hits you like a truck when you realize that you are a statistic.


Last night I remembered my assignment of looking into which will be my drug of choice for the MS. So this morning when the girls were playing so nice together I spent some time on the computer looking at different websites that would hopefully steer me in the right direction.


Last week after we left Dr Parry's office, Jay and I had differeing points of view on which drug would be best. And I have to say, looking online didn't help clear anything up. So these are some things that I have been thinking about all day long and formulating for my post here.

Some things we do know. Copaxone is realtivly safe without any risks of serious side effects. However, it is fairly new so there is still a lot to learn. Copaxone was first discovered by scientists who made a synthetic drug (a specific formulation of amino acids) that they were hoping would GIVE rats MS. In fact, it did the opposite. So in short, that is how they get where they are today.


Copaxone, as told by several people who are on it, is painful to inject (everyday injection) and produces a large and painful welt at the site. Also, after some time, the injection sites will begin to loose their fat. There is a clinical word for it, but I don't remember. But, as Dr. Parry said, it is not attractive. Lovely.

Rebif on the other hand has a lot of ugly things that accompany it. There are very small risks of liver damage and damage to white blood count levels, but blood tests are done fairly often to ensure that there will be no permanant damage. One of the major side effects that keeps coming back to me is the illness that accompanies many people for the first several months of using this. It is "flu like" for 24-48 hours after each injection (3x per week injection). There are some other things like risk of depression or suicidal tendencies.


Lots to think about and I am not sure that writing it down made it any more clear. I may break my own rules and go back and read this post to see if there is anything that may help bring about a decision.

Yesterday was a great and fairly relaxing day. In the morning Jay decided that we should go to the skating rink and Emma could break out her skates for the first time this year. Madeline rode around in her sled taking in the action around her. That was fun and a nice breath of fresh air. The rest of the afternoon was relaxing. I took a short nap and Jay went out to play hockey with a friend.



Evening came and because we were not able to find a sitter (the three people that we actually trust with our kids were unavailable) I had to go to the reunion alone.


There was a very low turn out. But, the group that was there was a ton of fun. Lots of chatting and catching up. A few people I am very good friends with and a few others I haven't seen for 15 years. Came home and went to bed.


As Murphy's Law would have it, Emma was up before 7am and Madz made it to 7:08. Not great for a morning after an evening out. But, we spent the morning playing and cleaning up after a daddy night with the kids, I took some time to look into the above mentioned items, then we went to the gym.


Because I didn't go all last week, my little friend Mr Eliptical was eyeing me. However, I chose to pass him up and just go with a brisk walk on the treadmill. Back home for lunch and more play.


Jay got home, we made dinner and settled in for movie night. Tonight the Viera household was showing Madagascar. A little popcorn and all of us cuddled on the couch together. How can it get any better!

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