The decision has been made

This morning I had the idea to go to the gym, but I just couldn't make myself do it. The later in the morning it got the less likely we were to get there. So I decided that we would run errands to return and exchange some things.

I make this one recommendation for anyone, do NOT attempt to go to Ulta (the cosmetics and beauty products store) with two small children. For Christmas I received some perfume, that I like but wasn't sure it was me. So we headed into the store knowing it would have to be a quick look around. After 10 minutes of Madeline and Emma both spraying different fragrences wildly and moving all of the bottles to different locations, I told the attendant I would be back without my assistants some day. Thankfully I found my old fragrence online, so I may not have to endure that fiasco again. The rest of the day was successful.

At the end of our final stop we swung into the "germ pit" at the EP Mall. I believe that the afternoon is the perfect time to go there. So few kids with seemingly attentive parents. The kids had a ball and I had a great time watching them. Madeline is just a wild woman. She can navigate some of these play things better then boys almost twice her age!

Home for naps and some relaxation. This morning I traded messages back and forth with the MS nurse and finally I had to leave a detailed message for her regarding some of my symptoms as well as our drug choice.

May I have a drum roll please . . . . . the winner is - Rebif!!! Well, we can only hope that it is a winner. I have done some research online and there is not one drug that is perfect and the rest suck. Everyone has different experices and some help some people and not others. It is a real crap shoot. I am hoping with all hopes that I do not endure the flu like symptoms for months on end, but if I do??? Oh well.

In reading some of the stories out there, I cannot decide if you become more thankful or scared shitless about the future. Stories about 39 year old bed ridden females with MS - call in Dr. Kavorkian! - to people who feel great. There is something that is so not great about knowing that you have a disease that is slowly trying to take away your ability to move. I am all about moving, that is me - day in and day out. I can only hope and pray that I will be able to fight this disease until a cure is found. I have always been for stem cell research, but once you get a disease like this there is no way that you could be against it.

Some other reasons weighed in on our decision for Rebif, but in the end it is almost let's try it and see sort of theory.

Jay got home and he thought that he should stay home tonight to be with the girls rather then going to the party for Casey's American Idol premiere. I was kind of bummed because we don't spend much time together alone (I guess this would not have been alone), but greatful that he wanted to spend time with the girls alone. So off I went.

It was fun to be there as she saw herself on tv auditioning for the biggest thing in her life so far. It brought tears to my eyes to see someone elses daughter do so well and see her dreams coming true. My friend and Casey's mom were on top of the world. Soooo much fun. I will reserve my photos of Casey, in person, until she wins the show!!?! So in the meantime here is a photo from the tv that we were watching Casey perform on.

When I got home, Jay, Emma, Madz and I watched the audition about 10 times - slow motion, frame by frame and regular time all as requested by Emma. The kids and Jay had already seen it about 2o times before I even got home.

A nice day with the kiddos. A day of realization and eyes wide open for life in the future.